Monday, April 27, 2009

You Don't Have to Go Home, but You Can't Stay Here:

5 Polite Ways to Let Your Guests Know the Party is Over

You know you throw the best parties of all your friends! However, the biggest drawback from throwing the best parties is that you will find that some of your guests will be reluctant to leave when the party is over. Everyone wants to be known in their circles as “the one who throws the best parties” but no one wants to be known as “the heavy who ended to party before it was over”.

This is a list of some polite, yet surefire way to inform your guests that the party is over without hurting your “perfect party planner” reputation or your guest’s feelings.

1. Shut off all the lights and blow out all the candles. Nothing says “the party is now over” by suddenly and without warning throwing all your guests into complete and utter darkness. I recommend that you leave a hall or porch light on, so that when you open the front door, they can navigate their way out. However, if you have adventurous guests, perhaps they would love the challenge of finding their way out of your home in complete darkness.

2. Set off your home fire alarm. There are occasions when you need to end the party suddenly and get your guests out of your home quickly and efficiently. The best way to accomplish this is to set off your home fire alarm and run through your home screaming “fire!” This will cause your guests to exit quickly, especially if they believe that their lives are in immediate harm. Another fun option to set off your sprinklers when the fire alarm goes off if you have them! The obvious drawbacks are the water damage to your property, but just think of the great stories this will provide for your next party!

3. Call 911 and tell them that you are being held hostage. I only recommend this for the last few guests who just refuse to take subtle hints and leave. If you are lucky enough to have a SWAT team deployed, make sure to distinguish yourself from your guests in an obvious way, such as by screaming that you are being held hostage or by handing your guests ski masks to wear before the authorities arrive. This way, the police will handle the unsavory job of removing your guests, leaving you to more important tasks, such as clean up.

4. Stop talking and remain totally immobile. In nature, possums, turtles and armadillos often employ this very effective technique, but his is a great option for those who have a flair for acting or have a talent for mime. If you become frozen, as if you suddenly have become a living statue for a long enough time, your guests will eventually become bored and leave.

5. Fake your own death. With a few well placed props and some great cinematic blood which you can find at your local Halloween supply store, you can create the illusion that you have been brutally murdered. Nothing clears out the last few party stragglers like a murder scene.

As you can see, there are ways to end a party politely without compromising any of your guest’s feelings. Just remember to be as creative in ending the party as you were in planning the party in the first place.

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