Monday, July 13, 2009

Calvin's Things to Avoid: Not Shaking Out Your Shoe Before You Put it On


Let me introduce you to The Brazilian Wandering Spider. (Phoneutria fera) This little fellow is coincidently both the most aggressive and the most venomous spider found on earth. The Brazilian Wandering spider is so-called because it wanders the jungle floor hunting for prey like a cat or a wolf, rather than residing in a lair or maintaining a web. This little beast can grow to have a leg span of up to 4 - 5 inches. (This is about the size of your hand.)

This hunting behavior is the reason it is considered so dangerous. When it ambles into populated areas, this nocturnal predator will usually search for cover in dark places to hide during daytime, leading it to hide under beds, within the folds of clothes, in shoes and boots, in empty boxes and wood piles. These are also places people tend to put their hands and feet without looking. The Brazilian Wandering Spider tends to frown on this.

When threatened, the Brazilian Wandering Spider delivers more than a painful bite that sends most victims to the hospital. Its venom, (which is reported to have one of the most excruciatingly painful venoms of all spiders due to its high concentration of serotonin) in a bizarre side effect stimulates an hours-long erection in men.

So, if you are bitten by this arachnid, not only will it result in and extremely painful and potentially life threatening welt, you will go to the hospital with a, well… with a raging hard-on. Although it may be embarrassing to go to the hospital in this condition, males bitten by this spider should seek immediate emergency treatment as the venom is life threatening.

Needless to say, scientists are fast at work developing drugs to treat erectile dysfunction using the chemistry of this spider’s venom.

3 comments:

  1. THE SPIDER PICTURED IS NOT A BRAZILIAN WANDERING SPIDER.LOOKS MORE LIKE A HUNTSMAN SPIDER POSSIBLY.BUT,THAT IS DEFINENTLY NOT A BRAZILIAN WANDERING SPIDER.

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  2. Hey Calvin. Sorry, honey, but I agree with Anonymous--I don't think it's a Brazillian (wandering spider or wax). But more importantly, I think that the most aggressive spider on earth is actually the Sydney Funnel Web spider, which carries a switchblade, has already looked up your address on the internet, and will happily chase your ass down the street just to bite you.

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