Are you tired of the rat race? Are you sick of your seemingly endless and smelly commute on long stretches of highway to an unrewarding and unfulfilling job? Do you find yourself fantasizing about slaying all those you work with because you are brutalized by the office politics you face on a daily basis? Are you tired of the constant grind of pressure that comes from working in a cubicle as a faceless number enslaved by the power of unmitigated corporate greed? Then perhaps you should consider working from home. Make a healthy lifestyle change that will make you a happier and more fulfilled person. For your convenience I have compiled a list of remarkable jobs you should consider pursuing. These jobs will enable you to live and work from the same wonderful place: you own home.
1. President of the United States. This is the single greatest job you can do from your home, if your home happens to be 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.
2. Marijuana Horticulturalist. Are you equally good with plants as you are with people? Do you enjoy the quiet life of the farmer as much as the adventure of living with extreme risk to your personal well being? Then perhaps a career in growing and dealing pot might just be for you. Just add some sunshine and rain and you can make your home into a green house of fun! If this appeals to you, also consider becoming a Meth Lab technician.
3. Funeral Home Director. This is an easy way to make ‘dying’ your ‘living’. Open your home up to whacky world of wakes and watch the money come pouring into your home.
4. Pope. Bishop of Rome. Vicar of Jesus Christ. Supreme Pontiff of the Universal Church. Ruling Sovereign of the Vatican State. Whatever your favorite title is, this is a great job that allows you to work from your home, which just happens to also be small principality nestled within the city of Rome, Italy. Although this job is extremely hard to get, the benefits and compensation are unmatched. Also, once you get this job you literally have this job for life!
5. Ghost. This is a great home career option for those who like to work late at night. Particularly for those who like to work bumping around late at night, while moving household items around and clomping around dimly lit stairways and hallways.
6. Cloistered Monk. Live, eat and pray each and every day safe within the beautiful confines of elegant stone walls and manicured gardens. You will have all your meals, medical care, and all of your personal needs taken care of for the rest of your life for the low cost of extreme personal poverty and a lifetime of abstinence from any type of sexual activity.
7. Fake ID Maker. The fulfillment you will receive to help those on the fringe move back into the welcoming arms of society will be worth having a home office in the seediest part of town. Just try to imagine all the job satisfaction you will get working with sketchy folks and welcoming them back onto the grid.
8. Crazy Computer Virus Programmer. Unleash your creativity from the comfort of your own home. Grow your beard out to crazy lengths. Work wearing only your coffee stained t-shirt and underpants. Disregard all personal hygiene! Who cares? You’re a crazy computer virus programmer!!
9. Faith Healer. Do you like people? Have you ever considered a career in health care? Do you have a gift of healing the sick by merely touching them with your miraculous hands? Then sit back in your easy chair and watch the lines of the sick and the disabled come to your front door. Make sure you have your donation box ready!
10. Oracle. Telling the future from your home is a great way to make a living, just ask those virgins at Delphi!
Showing posts with label work from home. Show all posts
Showing posts with label work from home. Show all posts
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Milk the Cash Cow: 10 Fun and Fast Ways to Make Extra Money in Your Spare Time
Let’s face it – times are tough right now. Most people are finding it harder and harder to make ends meet. However, there are plenty of ways to add a few dollars to your empty pockets. Don’t waste your time trying to find a second job or making your current job more profitable. All the good jobs are taken already, and why work harder when you can just work smarter? All it takes is some determination and some extra time and soon you will be rolling in the cash you make from following my tips.
1. Blackmail your co-workers. Most of the people you work with are lowlife losers with skeletons in their closets that they would rather not have anyone know about. With a little time and some crafty investigating, you can uncover all their deepest darkest secrets and extort them for money in return for your silence. If you are in the small minority of people whose co-workers are completely innocent of any crime or embarrassing situations that would get them fired, then you may want to consider framing them for a crime that they did not commit. Remember, the more co-workers you blackmail, the more money you can make! Soon the cash will come flowing in!
2. Sell nude photos of yourself on the Internet. It seems like everyone enjoys pictures of naked people and are willing to pay top dollar for them! People have been selling and buying naked pictures of people since man could draw naked women on the inside of their cave walls after the big hunt was over and everyone settled down to east some wholly mammoth around the big fire. If you yourself are really unattractive, then consider selling nude photos of your family and friends. Just remember not to tell them, otherwise they will unfairly want some of the money you made from the sale.
3. Read to the blind, then demand payment for your time. This can be a fun and profitable way to catch up on all those books you have been meaning to read anyway.
4. Sell your internal organs. Fortunately, God has blessed us with two of most of our organs, seemingly so that we can sell the extra one that we have! For those rare organs we only have one of, we are lucky that we get even more money for them. Make sure you consult your doctor before you sell your organs, just to make sure that you can survive without the organ you are planning to sell.
5. Scam very old, the incredibly young, and the really gullible out of their money. You would be surprised as to how many old, young and gullible people there are with lots of money. It is my experience that with the right kind of scam, it is really easy to trick them out of a great deal of cash. At first, it might seem wrong to take all their earnings in this way. Although you are taking their money, you are also teaching them a valuable life lesson, and honestly, can we put a price tag on quality education?
6. Rent the spare space you have in your home out to total strangers. If you have extra space, consider renting it out to folks who are in need of a place to stay. A couch, an attic, the crawlspace beneath your porch; these places are all potential money makers for you and someone desperate enough to pay just to get out of the wind and rain.
7. Start your own secret taxi company. It’s really easy! Just make a card board sign, paste it to your car door and go to places where people need rides and charge them for a lift. I suggest inner city bars after closing time and bus stations late at night as some really profitable places to find friendly folks who need rides.
8. Hot glue and stencil stuff on your junk and sell them as 'crafts'. Don’t just throw your crap away, stencil a goose on it, or hot glue a red, white and blue sequined American Flag on it and then sell it. People love to buy crafts, and to many, its an addiction. They can't help but pay for crap that other (less savvy) people would just throw away. Just remember: as much money as you make selling your junk as "crafts" you can make even more if you call it “art".
9. Plunder and pillage small coastal fishing villages. Do you enjoy being outdoors and on the water especially on those warm, sunny summer days? Then this method of making extra cash is the one for you! Plundering and pillaging was very successful for the Vikings for centuries, and still is popular today with Somali pirates.
10. Panhandle. As I always say, the direct route is often the best route. Just ask strangers that you meet on the street for money. The key is to be persistent and not take ‘no’ as an answer. You will be surprised how many people will pay you to just go away and leave them alone!
1. Blackmail your co-workers. Most of the people you work with are lowlife losers with skeletons in their closets that they would rather not have anyone know about. With a little time and some crafty investigating, you can uncover all their deepest darkest secrets and extort them for money in return for your silence. If you are in the small minority of people whose co-workers are completely innocent of any crime or embarrassing situations that would get them fired, then you may want to consider framing them for a crime that they did not commit. Remember, the more co-workers you blackmail, the more money you can make! Soon the cash will come flowing in!
2. Sell nude photos of yourself on the Internet. It seems like everyone enjoys pictures of naked people and are willing to pay top dollar for them! People have been selling and buying naked pictures of people since man could draw naked women on the inside of their cave walls after the big hunt was over and everyone settled down to east some wholly mammoth around the big fire. If you yourself are really unattractive, then consider selling nude photos of your family and friends. Just remember not to tell them, otherwise they will unfairly want some of the money you made from the sale.
3. Read to the blind, then demand payment for your time. This can be a fun and profitable way to catch up on all those books you have been meaning to read anyway.
4. Sell your internal organs. Fortunately, God has blessed us with two of most of our organs, seemingly so that we can sell the extra one that we have! For those rare organs we only have one of, we are lucky that we get even more money for them. Make sure you consult your doctor before you sell your organs, just to make sure that you can survive without the organ you are planning to sell.
5. Scam very old, the incredibly young, and the really gullible out of their money. You would be surprised as to how many old, young and gullible people there are with lots of money. It is my experience that with the right kind of scam, it is really easy to trick them out of a great deal of cash. At first, it might seem wrong to take all their earnings in this way. Although you are taking their money, you are also teaching them a valuable life lesson, and honestly, can we put a price tag on quality education?
6. Rent the spare space you have in your home out to total strangers. If you have extra space, consider renting it out to folks who are in need of a place to stay. A couch, an attic, the crawlspace beneath your porch; these places are all potential money makers for you and someone desperate enough to pay just to get out of the wind and rain.
7. Start your own secret taxi company. It’s really easy! Just make a card board sign, paste it to your car door and go to places where people need rides and charge them for a lift. I suggest inner city bars after closing time and bus stations late at night as some really profitable places to find friendly folks who need rides.
8. Hot glue and stencil stuff on your junk and sell them as 'crafts'. Don’t just throw your crap away, stencil a goose on it, or hot glue a red, white and blue sequined American Flag on it and then sell it. People love to buy crafts, and to many, its an addiction. They can't help but pay for crap that other (less savvy) people would just throw away. Just remember: as much money as you make selling your junk as "crafts" you can make even more if you call it “art".
9. Plunder and pillage small coastal fishing villages. Do you enjoy being outdoors and on the water especially on those warm, sunny summer days? Then this method of making extra cash is the one for you! Plundering and pillaging was very successful for the Vikings for centuries, and still is popular today with Somali pirates.
10. Panhandle. As I always say, the direct route is often the best route. Just ask strangers that you meet on the street for money. The key is to be persistent and not take ‘no’ as an answer. You will be surprised how many people will pay you to just go away and leave them alone!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
