10 Ideas That Will Help You Avoid Being Attacked by the Reanimated Corpse of a Recently Deceased Loved One (And how to survive if you are!)

1. In that it is good advice to never go to bed angry with a loved one, never let anyone you love die when they are still holding a grudge against you. No good can ever come if someone you love passes away angry at you.

2. Place defensive charms and spells all about your body that repeal the undead.

3. Place defensive charms and spells all about your loved one's body that repeals the undead. A particularly good time to do this is before they are buried: stuff their casket with as much garlic, silver, and crucifixes as it will hold.

4. Always carry a sharp scythe or an ax with you at all times to easily decapitate the reanimated corpse to stop its attack.

5. If possible, insist that everyone you know be cremated when they pass away. If cremation is not in accord with their religious beliefs, simply insist that the undertaker remove their arms, legs and head before burial.

6. Surround your home with a moat of flaming liquid lava. Although not the most pleasing choice in landscaping, the practicality of it will overcome the esthetic deficiencies.

7. Ask all of your family and friends to try to avoid being reanimated as vengeful zombies after they pass away. Encourage them to avoid any dealings voodoo witch doctors and evil scientists.

8. Create a safe room hidden somewhere in your house that is impervious to attack and wait out the attack. Stock it with enough food, fresh water and supplies to last you the amount of time it takes for a human body to decompose in your particular climate. (You will need more supplies in the cold north where bodies do not decompose as quickly, fewer supplies in the humid areas of the south for example.) Do not give your secure codes out to your loved ones, as they might remember those codes when they are reanimated and attack you.

9. Where ever you go, plan an escape route that will lead you to safety in the event you are attacked by the reanimated corpses of a recently deceased loved ones. Plan for this event every time you go somewhere new, such as hotels, cemeteries, and the laboratories hidden in basements of haunted castles.

10. Try to be nice. Nice people are rarely attacked by the reanimated corpses of a recently deceased loved ones.

Calvin's Guide: How to survive a zombie attack!

'10 essentials' You should always carry that can save your life during the zombie apocalypse:
Whether you live the desert, plains, in a coastal city or a mountain town, being prepared for the zombie apocalypse is critical. Always being prepared means always carrying the "10 essentials."
Each of these vital life saving supplies will allow you to treat basic injuries, help you or an injured person signal for help or to kill zombies. Rescues is unlikely as civilization collapses, but if you have these 10 essentials you stand a better chance of being staying alive a little longer.
The 10 essentials include:
A flame thrower or bazooka – you will be glad you have one when hordes of zombie corpses press against your trying to eat your brains.
Compass -- A must for correct navigation and for providing rescuers with your location.
Flashlight or headlamp -- Going for help can mean a long hike in the dark. Don't forget spare bulbs and batteries.
Extra Survival food -- Though the human body can last for weeks with food, your body needs it for warmth and strength.
Extra clothing -- Remember, you can ALWAYS take off extra clothes. For survival, extra clothes can be used to cover an injured person to prevent shock, as well as for keeping warm.
Sunglasses --If you're eyes are injured, you're in trouble. Protect your eyes from sunburn, glare & snow burn.
First-aid supplies -- Carry a well-stocked 1st aid kit or survival kit that contains everything you'll need to stay alive & well. However if you are bitten and infected by the zombie virus, there is no first aid kit in existence that can help you.
Pocket knife -- Never go anywhere without a pocket knife, they are very versatile in time of need.
Matches -- Being able to start a fire can be the difference between life and death. Be sure to keep them in a waterproof container.
Machete -- A survival situation is not the time to play boy scout. Its time to cut off the heads of as many zombies as possible, including when your friends are bitten and become a zombie themselves.