10 Fun Summer Things That Will Make You Sexier Than You Already Are

It’s summer! Are you tired of looking not sexy? Or are you sexy, but want to be even sexier? Everyone goes through phases of not feeling sexy enough. If you're ready to revamp your look this summer and turn heads, keep reading. No matter what your body shape, you can become sexier just by doing some of the fun summer things you would probably already do. Just remember to do them sexier!

Wear a Man-kini: You work hard for that body, so show the world what God blessed you with! Ok, so you have not hit the gym in a few weeks – but who cares? You have a natural physique that others will certainly admire at the beach. Well, maybe you don’t work out and you still opted for the second helping of apple strudel ala mode after a delicious Taco Bell dinner…again. Wouldn’t you be more comfortable with less fabric constricting your junk as it hangs out at the beach? Go ahead, you’re sexy dammit. Wear that man-kini with a fierce confidence usually reserved for those much younger and sexier than you. Then feel free to hit on anyone you deem worthy of your attention, they will be powerless in the presence of your man-kini.

Create Pubic Topiary or a Pubic Savage Garden: Either way, groom your business in a way that will make it memorable! Toss caution to the wind and let your rug clash with your curtains. Tease it up into a big hedge, shave your lover’s name in there, or leave just enough unshaved to give yourself what I like to call “The Hitler”. Just remember what they always say, “Well behaved pubes rarely make history”.

Don’t Wear Any Underwear: This is always sexy. It’s not totally hygienic, but really sexy things rarely are. Take it from one who knows.

Order Drinks With the Word “Sex” in Them: such as “Screaming Orgasms,” “Sex on the Beach” “Watermelon Blow Jobs,” etc, etc. Just ordering these drinks will make you seem sexier to anyone within ear shot of you. This comes in handy if you are trying to hook up with the bartender.

Sling on a Tight Tube Top: You work hard for that body, so show the world what God blessed you with! Ok, so you have not hit the gym in a few weeks – but who cares? You have a natural physique that others will certainly admire at the beach. Well, maybe you don’t work out and you still opted for the second helping of apple strudel ala mode after a delicious Taco Bell dinner…again. Wouldn’t you be more comfortable with less fabric constricting your junk as it hangs out at the beach? Go ahead, you’re sexy dammit. Wear that tube top with a fierce confidence usually reserved for those much younger and sexier than you. Oh, wait, did I say this already?

Squeeze into a pair of Tight Tight Tight Jeans: Nothing says sexy then a pair of jeans stretched taught over your sexy ass and thighs. Its not tight enough until you have to paint them on. Make sure that your moose knuckles are showing! Trust me, that will drive everyone around you wild with passion and desire for you.

Wear Stilettos all Summer Long: Walking around like you are about to tip over at anytime is really, really sexy. Wear them all the time, everywhere you go. They look sexy at sporting events and back yard BBQ’s, at the beach, or on camping trips.

Wear Lots and Lots of Luscious Lip liner: My rule of thumb is, until I notice that you have lip lined your mouth, you haven’t used enough. Only when it looks like you just had a dog turd in your mouth does it truly start looking really, really sexy.

Start Smoking: As a former smoker, I can’t think of anything sexier then wheezing, strained breathing, carcinogenic chemicals, yellow teeth and bad breath. May I bum a cigarette? I have the sudden urge to look really, really sexy myself.