Monday, September 28, 2009

10 Clever Ways to Announce Your Pregnancy

Congratulations! The doctor just confirmed your suspicions: you’re pregnant! Finding out you're pregnant is a very exciting time for women, so it only makes sense that you want to share the news with your family and friends as soon as possible. Here are 10 extraordinarily fun ways to announce that your bundle of joy is on the way:

1. Send out letters to all your family and friends and sign it from “the fetus.”
Getting a handwritten letter is a wonderfully antiquated way of communication that some people still enjoy. For best results, find a really small piece of paper, and a crayon in order to craft a letter like it’s actually written from the fetus you are carrying. Because your baby still has an underdeveloped brain, hands and fingers, make sure the writing is sloppy and lots of word are misspelled to make it really realistic looking.

2. Start pushing an empty baby carriage around wherever you go. From the moment you find out your pregnant, start pushing around this carriage. Rig it up so that when people look inside a Jack in the Box springs up holding a sign that says “Coming soon, a new baby!” to startle them.

3. Invite everyone over for your “Pregnancy Shower”. Although certainly some people will complain that throwing a party for oneself is tacky, ignore them! This is a great way to let everyone know you’re pregnant and a great way to get some free gifts at the same time.

4. Rent a theater one evening, hire actors to dress as sperm and ova, and have them reenact the moment of conception for your family and friends through mime. Everyone loves live theater! You might also want to consider selling tickets to this event, and charging for concessions in order to cover your costs and make some extra money.

5. Make cookies in the shape of embryos and hand them out to your family and friends. The way to anyone’s heart is through their stomach. Back for those you love some fetus shaped cookies. This way, you not only inform everyone you know that you are pregnant through the gift of food, but you can also take care of your cravings for sweets at the same time.

6. Send full, unopened tampon box to your friends and family with a note attached that says “I guess I won’t need these for a while!” Most people enjoy a good riddle. This should keep people guessing why you are sending them female hygiene products through the mail. Once they make the connection, however, they are not likely to forget the big news!

7. Send everyone you know a copy of your paternity test and a copy of the child support letter your lawyer just sent to the father of the baby. Your family and friends will certainly get a chuckle from this creative way of letting them know you got pregnant with that looser you just broke up with.

8. Create a “Uterus Piñata”, and fill it with baby themed candy. Remember how fun smacking a piñata with a stick was when you were a child? Recreate some special memories with a piñata that looks like a uterus. When they open it up with the whacks from the stick, make sure Sugar Babies, Jr. Mints, Baby Ruth’s and Runts fall out.

9. Have a movie night and only play baby themed movies, such as “Knocked Up”, “Look Who’s Talking” and “Nine Months”. Movie nights can be a blast, but this movie night will live on in everyone’s memory as the best! Make sure you serve a lot of great cocktails and buy everyone a pack of cigarettes. Prenatal care can start tomorrow, tonight we party!

10. Start wearing a t-shirt that says “I’m Pregnant.” until everyone you know sees you wearing it. Ok, so this one is not particularly creative or clever. However, it gets the job done.

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1 comment:

  1. A guy that worked for me, who was really good at his job, and otherwise a GREAT guy, came into my office to tell me he and wis wife were expecting a baby. What he said was, "evidently I have slipped one past the goalie".

    There was no introduction, I had no idea what we were even talking about. It was the worst presentation ever.