Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Calvin’s Potty Training Tips for Parents

Is your baby old enough to ditch the diaper and start using the toilet? Potty training your child can seem like an arduous process, but it doesn’t have to be completely traumatic for either of you! Even though I am not a parent, I am great with kids! Here are five helpful hints I created so both of you survive the potty training period. Each child is different, so use one by one or as a whole package. Good luck!

1. Offer your child money to use the potty. Everyone knows babies are greedy. Bribery is an effective tool to motivate toddlers, and nothing motivates more than cold hard cash! Depending on your child’s level of greed, you can probably get away with offering just $20 each time they use the potty.

2. Potty train in stages. Some kids just are not as smart as others, so perhaps in this case it is good to transition them into using the potty. A great midway point between diaper and potty is a littler box. Have your toddler use the cat’s litter box until you think they are ready to try a potty. If your cat is unhappy with this new situation, don’t worry: it’s also a great lesson for your child on how to share with others.

3. Make your child fear their diapers. Fear is a powerful motivator in all people, especially small children. Start referring to the diaper as “that white and absorbent scary monster that is sure to devour you” and “the baby eating creature that attaches to your bum”. It helps if you draw scary faces on the diapers and then run around the house screaming like you are terrified of it. Do this for a few weeks and your child is certain to start using the potty!

4. Replace the diapers your child wears with a strap on portable potty chair. Children are forgetful, and often they just forget that the potty is an option or they forget where the potty is located. Eliminate this problem by attaching the potty right to their person by attaching it with a belt or duct tape. This way, they have no option but to start using the potty. Latter, you can transition them the regular, less mobile toilet.

5. Make potty training a game. Toddlers love games! Unfortunately, toddlers are not very good at games. They have not yet developed eye hand coordination and have no ability to grasp abstract ideas. If you make potty training a game, it will have to be a really easy game without much in the way of rules or a challenge. Perhaps just make it a competition with another child, such as “lets see if you can be potty trained before little Sally down the street.”

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  1. What about Calvin's potty training FOR Calvin. I need a refresher I think.

  2. Hilarious. Thanks for the laugh. Actually, money works really well for potty training "older toddlers" (3 and up!)

    I'm going to link to your post. We potty-training parents need all the humor we can get!

    Suzanne Riffel, author of "The Potty Boot Camp: Basic Training for Toddlers"

  3. You are right--babies are so damn greedy!!!