Friday, September 11, 2009

15 Random Nuggets of my Wisdom:

“Wise men speak because they have something to say, Fools speak because they have to say something.”

Plato – 428 -348 BC

Calvin's Wisdom - not as good as Plato's - but still worthwhile...

1. Don’t toss an anvil straight up in the air.

2. Don’t use a porcupine as a pillow when you are camping. Don’t use a porcupine as a pillow when you are not camping. In fact, it is a good policy never to use a porcupine as a pillow.

3. Never, ever recycle toilet paper by using both sides.

4. Don't eat gravel.

5. Don't take naps on the train tracks. That's just really uncomfortable and you could really mess up your back.

6. Don't stoke the fireplace fire with your toes.

7. Walk around lava flows, not through them.

8. Never put in your mouth the stuff you find between your toes.

9. Don't bathe in a tub full of slithering mounds of venomous snakes.

10. Don't iron clothes while wearing them. They never look as good as when you take off all your clothes at the dry cleaners and have them press them while you wait.

11. Don't wash your kitchen floors with molasses.

12. Don't kick a cactus with your bare foot. Put on a glove and slap it instead.

13. If someone shouts "Heads up!" I have learned that they usually do not want you to raise your head up. What they mean is "Quick cover your head with your arms and then duck!", but that just takes to long to say and you are usually struck by the object they they are trying to warn you about by the timet they shout that out.

14. Don’t use a weed whacker naked. In fact, try not to garden at all in the nude. Horticulture was meant for clothes

15. If sticking pins into bulletin boards, press on the flat end.

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1 comment:

  1. The nuggets of your wisdom really made me laugh! Haha! The last one is really funny, but it's a great reminder though. Good post. Hope I can read more post like this one.